Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Feng-Shui Conspiracy
Underwent a late-night four shot espresso injection; therefore, blog. Turns out caffeine is the annihilator of study time; therefore, historic fail tomorrow. I don't wanna be awake forever, so I'll make this quick. But first! Music video.
Well, I can't figure out how to embed it right. Anyway, it was "Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance. I'll let you know if ever there is a better music video created. Also, "I Don't Love You" by them.
I didn't mention this before, but under heavy coercion I gave blood last week, and I did it like quite the pro. Also I went to my first haunted house Saturday night, followed by Paranormal Activities 3, both of which were lovely.
I just dropped my pencil in the lobby and couldn't find it. I did, however, come upon two quarters under the couch cushions while looking for it, so I'd say it was worth the loss.
I really liked Dr. Donna Jacobs' outfit. Did you know that a teacher with a bachelor's degree generally receives the same pay as a teacher with no degree? Of course, it'd probably be easier to get a job with a degree.
She talked about how appearances can make or break your career. I know this is especially true in teaching younguns, but I think it can apply to everyone. She said, "If you think it doesn't look quite right, don't do it." Don't touch it, don't think it. That's really just a good life guideline. It actually helped me make a decision today.
I liked that she brought up the fact that you might have to leave home to get experience in your job. That's just how it is. If you wanna get hired as a teacher and actually make money, guess what? You probably don't need to chill out in North Alabama after you graduate from this fine institution. You should probably move to Alaska. I am a fan of that concept. If I want to be a good writer who actually has something to talk about, I don't need to hole up in my living room. I am resolved to study in France at one point in my college career, and mission work in Africa is a yes.
She also talked about integrity in your work, starting with pre-job surface stuff, like Facebook and hygiene. That got me thinking about my blog and how irreverent I sometimes am. But I think if I wanna be a writer, I need to have an individual style. I think frankly; why shouldn't I write frankly? I would also like to think, though, that I have a good capacity for respect for others. Even if I'm not incredibly in-tune to what's going on around me, I can crank out some good, common coexistence. Considering where I would like to go with my career, I think my blog is fairly on base, even if it likes to steal between pitches.
That's not to say I don't doubt myself sometimes, that my college direction is set in stone. Last weekend when I went home, my mom mentioned in passing that I would make a good student counsellor, which of course pitched me into an OMG WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE moment. It's weird, being so early in the "choosing your future" game. I see it swirling all around me in other students, and just when I think I have some certainty as to what I want, I get confused. The Plan, thus far: Major = Professional Writing. Minor = French.
It makes sense, I promise. I have some crazy life aspirations. But what if I need something a little more stable to fall back on during the lulls? I can totally see myself telling people what their problems are or planning their schedules or whatever it is counsellors do. According to Dr. Donna, "Just because you need counselling doesn't mean you should be a counsellor." So I guess from here, all I have to do is avoid becoming insane.
I really, really, like the fact that she is doing what she has wanted to do since the seventh grade, has obviously excelled at it, and has personally rejected Oprah. Life should not be a prison, you know? Why follow money, when there are so many opportunities to make your desires work? "You get to decide what you do and how you do it" - if you stop trapping yourself and making up restrictions.
Sleepy time.
"Cuiziner, c'est toi que je veux voir, que je veux voir ce soir, te faire ridiculiser par une fille qui rappe mieux que toi!" - Yelle
:K
Well, I can't figure out how to embed it right. Anyway, it was "Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance. I'll let you know if ever there is a better music video created. Also, "I Don't Love You" by them.
I didn't mention this before, but under heavy coercion I gave blood last week, and I did it like quite the pro. Also I went to my first haunted house Saturday night, followed by Paranormal Activities 3, both of which were lovely.
I just dropped my pencil in the lobby and couldn't find it. I did, however, come upon two quarters under the couch cushions while looking for it, so I'd say it was worth the loss.
I really liked Dr. Donna Jacobs' outfit. Did you know that a teacher with a bachelor's degree generally receives the same pay as a teacher with no degree? Of course, it'd probably be easier to get a job with a degree.
She talked about how appearances can make or break your career. I know this is especially true in teaching younguns, but I think it can apply to everyone. She said, "If you think it doesn't look quite right, don't do it." Don't touch it, don't think it. That's really just a good life guideline. It actually helped me make a decision today.
I liked that she brought up the fact that you might have to leave home to get experience in your job. That's just how it is. If you wanna get hired as a teacher and actually make money, guess what? You probably don't need to chill out in North Alabama after you graduate from this fine institution. You should probably move to Alaska. I am a fan of that concept. If I want to be a good writer who actually has something to talk about, I don't need to hole up in my living room. I am resolved to study in France at one point in my college career, and mission work in Africa is a yes.
She also talked about integrity in your work, starting with pre-job surface stuff, like Facebook and hygiene. That got me thinking about my blog and how irreverent I sometimes am. But I think if I wanna be a writer, I need to have an individual style. I think frankly; why shouldn't I write frankly? I would also like to think, though, that I have a good capacity for respect for others. Even if I'm not incredibly in-tune to what's going on around me, I can crank out some good, common coexistence. Considering where I would like to go with my career, I think my blog is fairly on base, even if it likes to steal between pitches.
That's not to say I don't doubt myself sometimes, that my college direction is set in stone. Last weekend when I went home, my mom mentioned in passing that I would make a good student counsellor, which of course pitched me into an OMG WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE moment. It's weird, being so early in the "choosing your future" game. I see it swirling all around me in other students, and just when I think I have some certainty as to what I want, I get confused. The Plan, thus far: Major = Professional Writing. Minor = French.
It makes sense, I promise. I have some crazy life aspirations. But what if I need something a little more stable to fall back on during the lulls? I can totally see myself telling people what their problems are or planning their schedules or whatever it is counsellors do. According to Dr. Donna, "Just because you need counselling doesn't mean you should be a counsellor." So I guess from here, all I have to do is avoid becoming insane.
I really, really, like the fact that she is doing what she has wanted to do since the seventh grade, has obviously excelled at it, and has personally rejected Oprah. Life should not be a prison, you know? Why follow money, when there are so many opportunities to make your desires work? "You get to decide what you do and how you do it" - if you stop trapping yourself and making up restrictions.
Sleepy time.
"Cuiziner, c'est toi que je veux voir, que je veux voir ce soir, te faire ridiculiser par une fille qui rappe mieux que toi!" - Yelle
:K
Saturday, October 22, 2011
It's Not Me, It's You
The last forum did not interest me whatsoever. Initially I blamed this on the topic, but then I remembered Coach Arnsparger making business stuff extremely interesting in my senior Gov. & Ec. class. The guy who talked to us Tuesday just did not how to relate whatever he was trying to get across to us. Like, what in the world is a HUBZone? I would look it up, but I don't even care. Apparently you have a greater chance of getting government funded if you're wanting to start a business and you happen to be a HUBZonian. Also women, veterans, and disadvantaged entrepreneurs get help. AWESOME.
I think I'm going to look up HUBZones now. Wikipedia: "HUBZone means a historically underutilized business zone." Indian reservations, redneck hollers, etc.
The guy who spoke wore a tie that was red with stripes. While he talked, I drew his tie. That forum made me realize that I really miss drawing. I think the last time I sat down and deliberately drew something for real was last Christmas break, which was ten months ago. Why? I've been thinking about that off and on for years, how something important to me as drawing can get pushed aside by these other things that used to just be its equals.
I remember when I was eight or nine years old, I found out that my dad used to be really good at drawing, liked doing it, but didn't do it anymore. As a sketchbook-keeping child, I had to ask him why he had just stopped. I don't remember anything about his answer except that it made me sad. When I remember that moment, it kind of bothers me all over again, especially since I'm doing the same thing now myself. If you let them, your passions seem to choose you.
Today I was walking across campus carrying a to-go box of food from Towers before leaving for my high school's homecoming game when I realized something obvious: Love - be it for the people in your life or the things you do - takes up your time. See, I do love drawing. To take what I see in my head and try to make it reflect itself onto paper - it's like the ultimate challenge. It also takes hours, if not days, to achieve. It makes your hands dirty and your fingers tired. The more you get into it, the more solid money it leeches.
Then in the end, your image doesn't always turn out how you want, especially if you've been neglecting the hobby forever as I tend to do before picking it back up. It's one of those hobbies you either have to get hit with a random urge for or make yourself sit down and do. I guess this is why drawing's attention has been relocated to more effortless passions of mine, because you can't spend ALL your time on EVERY thing you love. I don't know if time is really money, but love is definitely time.
It seems like I'm making a lot of choices about passions lately. Do I really have the time? I don't know what to tie myself to these days and what to let go.
I don't think I could give up on drawing altogether just yet, anymore than I could running or writing. They're kind of like nicotine addictions. Old habits don't just die hard; you have to kill them.
"You'll follow me back with the sun in your eyes and on your own - bed shaped and legs of stone. You'll knock on my door and up we'll go, in white lights... I don't think so... But what do I know? What do I know?" - Keane
:K
I think I'm going to look up HUBZones now. Wikipedia: "HUBZone means a historically underutilized business zone." Indian reservations, redneck hollers, etc.
The guy who spoke wore a tie that was red with stripes. While he talked, I drew his tie. That forum made me realize that I really miss drawing. I think the last time I sat down and deliberately drew something for real was last Christmas break, which was ten months ago. Why? I've been thinking about that off and on for years, how something important to me as drawing can get pushed aside by these other things that used to just be its equals.
I remember when I was eight or nine years old, I found out that my dad used to be really good at drawing, liked doing it, but didn't do it anymore. As a sketchbook-keeping child, I had to ask him why he had just stopped. I don't remember anything about his answer except that it made me sad. When I remember that moment, it kind of bothers me all over again, especially since I'm doing the same thing now myself. If you let them, your passions seem to choose you.
Today I was walking across campus carrying a to-go box of food from Towers before leaving for my high school's homecoming game when I realized something obvious: Love - be it for the people in your life or the things you do - takes up your time. See, I do love drawing. To take what I see in my head and try to make it reflect itself onto paper - it's like the ultimate challenge. It also takes hours, if not days, to achieve. It makes your hands dirty and your fingers tired. The more you get into it, the more solid money it leeches.
Then in the end, your image doesn't always turn out how you want, especially if you've been neglecting the hobby forever as I tend to do before picking it back up. It's one of those hobbies you either have to get hit with a random urge for or make yourself sit down and do. I guess this is why drawing's attention has been relocated to more effortless passions of mine, because you can't spend ALL your time on EVERY thing you love. I don't know if time is really money, but love is definitely time.
It seems like I'm making a lot of choices about passions lately. Do I really have the time? I don't know what to tie myself to these days and what to let go.
I don't think I could give up on drawing altogether just yet, anymore than I could running or writing. They're kind of like nicotine addictions. Old habits don't just die hard; you have to kill them.
"You'll follow me back with the sun in your eyes and on your own - bed shaped and legs of stone. You'll knock on my door and up we'll go, in white lights... I don't think so... But what do I know? What do I know?" - Keane
:K
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Broad Shoulders, Narrow Mind
I believe in values. Values are subjective, right? But then, aren't values what people as individuals perceive to be right versus wrong? What if one of my values is that there is not really such a thing as subjective right and wrong? So in my mind, that makes everyone else's values wrong if they're not, well, my values. Having said that, I don't claim to always know which option is right or wrong. Just because I believe that there is one, and only one, answer doesn't mean I know what that answer is.
Just thought I'd clear that up before I launch into this thing.
Dr. Santanu Borah was sensational from the get-go. He was discussion-inciting, attention-paying-inducing, and kind of hilarious. Maybe that last part was because he's Indian, but really he is a very engaging speaker and I was sorry when the fifty minutes were up.
His subject was "Human Values in Globalization and the New Global Order," which meant nothing to me either when I read that; but, as it turns out, it basically relates to everyone who has an opinion. Now, it's hard to have opinions on things you don't know very much about, but don't worry, I manage. Actually, from where I was sitting, it looked like each member of the Freshman chapter of this honorable organization has her own opinion; and under the group debates could be heard muttered rebuttals. What I'm trying to say is, some people got a little PO'd. This is understandable, especially when you see that Doctor Borah defines "values" as:
I thought one of the first global values he brought up was especially fun - military spending. Apparently, the U.S. is spending nearly half its jack on the military, which is more than anyone else on earth. Immediately, I thought, "Well, good!" This way maybe airplanes won't be kissing any important American towers at dangerous speeds at the hands of kamikaze terrorists tomorrow. Also, I like the thought of our country as being one to be reckoned with and such. Then BOOM! Borah busts out our little debt issue. Suddenly my last thought was sent scurrying to the corner because if we owe half the world our money, how invulnerable are we really? Before I can even mull over this, he asks us the infuriating question that simplifies everything: "Good or bad? Should this continue or not?" In the end, I had to go with "no."
Then came GUN-CARRYING RIGHTS. "Yes, no? What do you believe?" See, I don't know, Gucci Mane. Gun control does sound good - the fewer guns, the less shooting. Well, ideally that would be true; nevertheless, gangsters are going to keep packing illegal gats, because what are they going to do with them but break the law anyway? And all the law-abiding citizens who don't want to make the effort to get gun licenses are just going to keep getting shot, because what are they going to do, retaliate with some Nunchakus? What I'm saying is true. The more guns people have, the less violent crimes occur. The hard-hitting question this time was not what did we believe; conversely, the mood shifted when Doctor Borah asked, "Would you be okay, then, with everyone on your campus having access to guns?"
Then we were introduced to the fact that we spend a lot more money on prisons than on schools. "Bars over books," essentially, and guess what? Shanghai is KILLING us in education, alongside several other places that are arguably a lot less opportunistic than the U.S. I'm picking up on a trend in these forums, and the trend is that our nation is becoming really, really thick in the head.
After class I went to the Well, and last night as always I left so glad that I hadn't skipped it. Though he never said he was, the leader, Alan, seemed really tired. It must be exhausting to be the parent of a newborn.
The subject was Noah and the ark. Did you know that he worked on that thing for 80-100 years? I can't imagine working on one thing for eighty years for the sake of anyone or anything - except my God. I learned years ago that He can make your worst nightmare turn into your greatest dream in a single moment.
Anyway, Noah. I've been hearing about that man and his boat since probably December 2nd, 1992, and yet last night I heard something about Noah's ark that gave me a chill. Apparently, the ratio of the build of the boat - height by width by length - was the exact ratio that modern man has discovered to be the perfect ratio to keep a boat afloat. It's not like Noah came up with those perfect numbers himself in that age when people had no experience with boats. God Himself utters the exact blueprint right there in Genesis 6. It takes man thousands of years to figure out what God already told us, and it sends a shiver up my spine every time I hear about it.
Isn't it weird how non-physical circumstances can give you physical reactions? I've been wondering about that lately. Why can being incredibly sad make you lose your appetite or your chest hurt? Why does being scared or shocked at something make your eyes water? The two aren't related at all.
"No guilt in life, no fear in death: This is the power of Christ in me." - Stuart Townend
Just thought I'd clear that up before I launch into this thing.
Dr. Santanu Borah was sensational from the get-go. He was discussion-inciting, attention-paying-inducing, and kind of hilarious. Maybe that last part was because he's Indian, but really he is a very engaging speaker and I was sorry when the fifty minutes were up.
His subject was "Human Values in Globalization and the New Global Order," which meant nothing to me either when I read that; but, as it turns out, it basically relates to everyone who has an opinion. Now, it's hard to have opinions on things you don't know very much about, but don't worry, I manage. Actually, from where I was sitting, it looked like each member of the Freshman chapter of this honorable organization has her own opinion; and under the group debates could be heard muttered rebuttals. What I'm trying to say is, some people got a little PO'd. This is understandable, especially when you see that Doctor Borah defines "values" as:
- Tied to emotion (and therefore neither objective nor permanent)
- Goals you are passionate enough about to strive for
- Transcending actions and situations; abstract (You can't earn enough money to buy what you hope to achieve from living by your values.)
I thought one of the first global values he brought up was especially fun - military spending. Apparently, the U.S. is spending nearly half its jack on the military, which is more than anyone else on earth. Immediately, I thought, "Well, good!" This way maybe airplanes won't be kissing any important American towers at dangerous speeds at the hands of kamikaze terrorists tomorrow. Also, I like the thought of our country as being one to be reckoned with and such. Then BOOM! Borah busts out our little debt issue. Suddenly my last thought was sent scurrying to the corner because if we owe half the world our money, how invulnerable are we really? Before I can even mull over this, he asks us the infuriating question that simplifies everything: "Good or bad? Should this continue or not?" In the end, I had to go with "no."
Then came GUN-CARRYING RIGHTS. "Yes, no? What do you believe?" See, I don't know, Gucci Mane. Gun control does sound good - the fewer guns, the less shooting. Well, ideally that would be true; nevertheless, gangsters are going to keep packing illegal gats, because what are they going to do with them but break the law anyway? And all the law-abiding citizens who don't want to make the effort to get gun licenses are just going to keep getting shot, because what are they going to do, retaliate with some Nunchakus? What I'm saying is true. The more guns people have, the less violent crimes occur. The hard-hitting question this time was not what did we believe; conversely, the mood shifted when Doctor Borah asked, "Would you be okay, then, with everyone on your campus having access to guns?"
Oooooh...
Not really, no I would not. This isn't freakin' the Limestone County rodeo; this is school and furthermore my home. But if I really believe what I say I do - that everyone having guns will keep them all in their holsters - then what's the problem? *sigh* There isn't one. So, less gun control is a yes.
Then we were introduced to the fact that we spend a lot more money on prisons than on schools. "Bars over books," essentially, and guess what? Shanghai is KILLING us in education, alongside several other places that are arguably a lot less opportunistic than the U.S. I'm picking up on a trend in these forums, and the trend is that our nation is becoming really, really thick in the head.
After class I went to the Well, and last night as always I left so glad that I hadn't skipped it. Though he never said he was, the leader, Alan, seemed really tired. It must be exhausting to be the parent of a newborn.
The subject was Noah and the ark. Did you know that he worked on that thing for 80-100 years? I can't imagine working on one thing for eighty years for the sake of anyone or anything - except my God. I learned years ago that He can make your worst nightmare turn into your greatest dream in a single moment.
Anyway, Noah. I've been hearing about that man and his boat since probably December 2nd, 1992, and yet last night I heard something about Noah's ark that gave me a chill. Apparently, the ratio of the build of the boat - height by width by length - was the exact ratio that modern man has discovered to be the perfect ratio to keep a boat afloat. It's not like Noah came up with those perfect numbers himself in that age when people had no experience with boats. God Himself utters the exact blueprint right there in Genesis 6. It takes man thousands of years to figure out what God already told us, and it sends a shiver up my spine every time I hear about it.
Isn't it weird how non-physical circumstances can give you physical reactions? I've been wondering about that lately. Why can being incredibly sad make you lose your appetite or your chest hurt? Why does being scared or shocked at something make your eyes water? The two aren't related at all.
"No guilt in life, no fear in death: This is the power of Christ in me." - Stuart Townend
Monday, October 10, 2011
Of Sally and Vladimir
Dr. Wesley Giselle (uneducated guess at spelling) spoke in last Tuesday's Honor's Forum... I always respect speakers who make an effort to get a group's attention, but I can't say whether the way Mr. Doctor started off his presentation directed my attention onto what he had to say so much as scarred me for the rest of my natural life. I don't know what possessed him to start off his powerpoint with a huge picture of a horrendously inflamed and morbidly distorted scrotum, but buddy, he sure did it. And after he clicked away onto his next point, I couldn't get the image out of my head. It was like I had stared at a light too long, except instead of blotches of light, I was seeing ... EGH.
After that unfortunate side effect calmed down, I actually got to listening and found that he had an interesting story to his life. Now, I messed up my legs, so I haven't actually gone running since November, but running for fun is definitely something I can relate to. As it happens, Mr. Doctor was a big fan of running too at one time. When he was young - I'm going to say fourteen or fifteen - he got into a serious car accident and was basically told that his leg was ruined. This would be devastating to anyone, let alone someone who lives to run. But then something happened to completely alter his course in life. A doctor (now a close friend and personal mentor) came along, took a muscle from Wesley Giselle's back, and placed it in his leg. Not only did this ingenious move give Wesley a new chance to eventually lace up his overpriced Nikes once again, but it became the reason that Mr. Giselle is a general surgeon today.
I really liked Mr. Doctor's stance on mentorship. He explained that a mentorship is a chain - your mentor has probably been mentored by someone else. I've never thought about that before, but I guess it's common sense. It kind of makes me wish I had a mentor, but I don't really know what I'd need one for. Still, I really admire disciple-like relationships, and it sounds like Mr. Doctor really has that with the surgeon who changed his life so many years ago. He said he loves that guy, and that a mentorship is "probably the most important relationship you'll ever have." Now, that might explain why he's on to his second wife now, but in the broader scheme of things, and with the commitment someone in his profession must have to his career (say 80 hours a week), I'd say he's not far from right.
He identifies himself with his career, which is a new concept for me, especially since he said that is how his family sees him, too. I'm not saying that his is a skewed perception of identity, but it is something that took me a minute to wrap my head around. When I look at my dad, I don't think, "Oh, there's that electrical engineer," and I hope that in eight years when I'm mulling over my identity, I can come up with something besides [insert vague, uncertain future job here]. That sounds dissatisfying to me. But in the words of whoever told Mr. Doctor this: "There are few possessions in life: one of them is a rewarding career." I enjoy that statement.
Not only was Mr. Doctor soft-spoken, but he was also short-winded. I sort of wished his lecture would have lasted a little longer, because he was throwing in some gems. The ensuing discussion after his talk sort of unravelled into personal questions, and finally ended with his planting yet another disturbing image in our minds before sending us packing. I just don't understand his method.
It turns out being exiled from campus for a week means the next week's fun is destined for Hades. I have barely stopped playing catch-up.
This weekend, however, was a great distraction from the homework I should have been doing. I went with the Alternate Fall Break group to Harvest. We were told that we were going to be staying in a "manse" which obviously I imagined to be a small mansion. Actually, it was an abandoned Presbyterian preacher's home, with paper-thin walls and no hot water. It was really awesome though. I just felt sorry for the people who were trying to sleep while we were up past midnight playing Kemps both nights. In Kentucky we called that game "Kent." Anyway.
Friday, we split into small groups, and my group went to this warehouse FULL of donations. It was our job to sort all the clothes/shoes/accessories, box them up, label the boxes, and get them out of the way. We took one look at that endless pile, thought a collective "that's not gonna happen," and then got to work. I'm not going to lie, it was a little depressing being stuck in a warehouse all day, doing repetitive tasks and inhaling dust from the 1980s for seven hours. Sometimes it felt like we were never going to see the light of day again. Seeing how much we had accomplished at the end of the day, though, made me realize that we had made a difference - not only in the lives of the few volunteers at that warehouse who would have to do all that work by themselves, but also in the lives of people all over our country who really need those things we boxed up. Later that night during group reflection, I saw that daunting industrial room full of donations as a picture of the destruction the storms had left behind. The empty room at the end of the day sort of looked like hope, like tragedy could eventually be put behind North Alabama.
My next day of work was less psychological and more physical. At first, the site I was placed in was boring. Some of the plans fell through and most of us just weren't really needed at the house we were building. We picked up the trash from construction, and I did get to do some electrical wiring in the new house they were building, but that lasted about thirty minutes and then it was back to being in the way. Finally, before our lunch break, I was brought over to the wood-splitting site where they could actually use help. I have never done so much heavy hauling in my life. I mostly womanned the splitting machines, and if you didn't already know, I'm going to tell you: those things are AWESOME! 35 tons of sheer danger cracking open logs at your command. It was hard work for hours. :)
"You can run away with me any time you want." - My Chemical Romance
:K
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)