Don't Forget Your Lance

When our Honors Program director, Vince Brewton, asked us what our core four values were, I immediately recited in my head, "Eye contact, enthusiastic voice, share a smile, stay connected."  Sadly, those are the 4 Core Essentials of a Chick-fil-A employee and are completely not what he was asking for.  No one else really remembered them either, except one girl who randomly knew like two of them.  It turns out that he had verbally typo'd anyway and there are actually five core values, and here they are: Creativity, Integrity, Curiosity, Achievement, and Service.  Even though those remained a mere vague memory from my first couple of weeks here as this semester progressed, looking back it turns out that those words describe perfectly my first semester of college.  Mission accidentally accomplished!


I just love seeing how my time at UNA has revolutionized some parts of my life, while setting in stone other things that were already in me.   College has only served to verify the philosophy I always lived by: Don't freak out about what others think of you - no one cares what you're doing anyway. 


When we first got to college, a common freshman observation was, "Wow, everyone is so cool here."  Do you know why people are so surprised?  Because high school was retarded!  We were conditioned for pressure and anxiety about awful failures at life like that dude who wears his pajama pants to class and that girl who has too much fun on the weekends.   So many conversations I have had with other students this year have this theme of "I look back at high school and realize how much it doesn't matter."  Yes, it was a formative time in our life during which we made important relationships and decisions, but we still look back at it and scoff.  IT IS OKAY to be best friends with the super-weird kid that makes you laugh.  He might creep everybody else out, but who cares?  I'll tell you who doesn't care - the better part of six billion people.

I am the same person I was before I came here, but the way I view God, other people, and life in general are always changing.  Like Dr. Vince said last night: Values change.  Plans change.  "You just have to suck it up and be okay with that."  Along with the excitement and triumph I have experienced in the past few months, I have also faced circumstances of disappointment and uncertainty.  All of these led to differences in my outlook on things, and I am totally all right with that.  Change is good.  I have now actually walked to town at least three times, which never would have happened where I'm from.  I've had three of my own articles published in a real newspaper!   I have met really interesting, cool people and watched them grow into college life while I did the same...  I use an umbrella now, people!  Also, I should probably tell my boss I can't referee this basketball season, because last night I got a call and found out I will have a steady job in town after Christmas break!  

The following random song quotation may be the end of my freshman HP blogging experience, but this moment is just the beginning of life as I know it.

"Ain't no lie baby, bye, bye, bye." - 'N Sync                 





   


 

Say HELLO to Our Beans

As we walked to our habitual 5 o'clock Monday dinner before freshman Honor's forum last night, someone in the group said, "This'll be our last forum, y'all," and everyone gave a cheer that dissolved awkwardly into a sad groan.  It's strange because Forum was another thing that kind of drew us together, and now we're just not going to have that.  I'm sure this semester was just the start of the awesomeness that's been going on among us Nerd kids.  We know, anyway, that we'll pick up another like-minded class the first semester of next year too.  I liked the speakers and keeping this blog, but if everything stayed the same in life, I would probably get restless and move to San Diego and pierce my eyebrows. 

"How to be successful" - is that a new, original, and exciting concept to you? 'Cause it's not to me. No one can learn the one key to success, and yet everyone wants to teach it to us.    It was another businessman, Mr. Billy Hargett, that came and spoke to us, and as he began talking about the sort of businessman-type things that we probably cared about the first several times we heard it this year, I geared myself up for fifty minutes of voice tune-out, minimal note-taking, and the eventual throes of depression.  I am exaggerating because I'm tired of business.  Also, I was wrong.  What's new?

As it turns out, I may be an absolute expert at tuning people out while appearing wonderously absorbed with every word-pearl they toss in my direction, career-wise I am not even at the level of Apprentice.  Being the aimless peasant that I am, this is a fantastic time to learn how to be responsible.  This was the first note that I took:

1. Show up, be prepared, do the right thing RIGHT - consistently.

Seriously, as much as it was my inclination to think, "Gah, show up on time, really?!" I wrote this down because I am one of the most careless people I have ever met, so this was actually sensationally relevent to me.  Like, I think I was five minutes late to Speech today because I wanted a vanilla hazelnut latté from Einstein's.  Was it worth it?  Oh yes.  Were there repercussions?  Not at all.  Out of consideration for my professor and classmates, though, I probably could have resisted the coffee for thirty minutes. (We got out early again.)  A further point he made that broadened the horizons of my perspective on time management is that when it comes to anything - work, family, play - "Be there when it counts." So maybe it was okay that I missed the first half of people passing around the sign-in sheet and Professor Hendren joking about military terms because I got there before the good stuff.  I'm just copping myself out right now.

What I mean is that even though we won't always be perfectly prepared and tight-ship sailing, we should never completely give up and end up missing what really matters.  You may end up missing your firstborn's first steps because you are at work, but that does not mean you should give up on taking part in the rest of your child's life any more than it means you ought to up and quit your job.  Do what you can, as much as you can.     

The  following is a beautiful and magnificent collage of wisdom from last night that I enjoyed enough to jot down and expound upon now: 

Professionalism!  Have it!  Know what to do and how to do it.  Know what to improve and why you're doing that anyway.  Know how to report your progress.  When it comes to executing ideas in a team, know when to lead, follow, or get out of the way.  Know the most dangerous place in the building - the break room, of course!  Nothing in there but  a water cooler designed in a circular fashion in order to make scathing gossip-time more functional.  Exceed expectations.  Don't leave holes in your plan, because Murphy's law says that of all the things that can go wrong,  the worst thing will be the one to happen, at the most inopportune time.  Learn to communicate truthfully and effectively.  Your life does not have to be a monologue: Anyone can blather for an hour, but it takes skill to get your point across well in thirty seconds.   Also, if someone you're talking to asks you a question that you are not prepared to answer, "don't lie, ever."  

"I will get back back to you." > "Sure, I guess, maybe." 

'Kay? 

"If I sold this guitar and a piece of my heart for you, would you hop on a bus and leave just because - would you?" - Hawk Nelson

:K











          



 

   

      

Boys Staring at Helicopters

Busy!  Gosh.  I am a week behind on my blogs, so I'm going to try to find some kind of convenient connection between last week's and this week's speakers, which is going to be really amazing since this will involve linking commercial farming to the risky decisions of a good business leader.   
I never realized how much writing college entailed.  I finished three papers in the past three days, and the really sick part is that I enjoyed it.  Also, I got roped into re-writing lyrics for the Honors Step Sing group my room mate is starting.  Of course, when I agreed, I didn't realize that I had to take six to ten popular songs, theme it towards "nerdy fairy tales" and have it done by the end of this weekend, which is two days before our first real school break.

Which is in five days!  I'm leaving this wonderful intstitution Tuesday at noon-thirty, and I'm not going to pretend that Thanksgiving isn't my favorite holiday and I'm not totally excited.  Anyway! Last night we wrote a couple verses together, which was really fun.  Also I'm writing another article for the Flor-Ala, and there's no meeting this Monday, which means I have an extra week to get it done.  This will be my first article for the Life section, and hopefully the first one that isn't in some way screwed up when it goes to print.  It's going to be about personal Christmas stories and I'm  excited to talk to some more people about it, especially professors.

And now I'm going to write about forum! YAY.  But first!  I'm going to get on Facebook for a few minutes and then head to Business Computer Apps class.  I will be back in a little over an hour to pour out the rest of my soul to you.

JK.  It's tomorrow.  After class, I had work, and after that I had math homework, and then I had the Breaking Dawn premier, which was half-way decent so naturally I am MAJORLY impressed and infatuated with the film in its entirety.  A friend and I discussed last night how if the terrorists wanted to wipe out a third of our population, they should just target our theatres at midnight during the Twilight premiers - job done. Also, as my Facebook status implies, it is truly symbolic of American opportunity that Taylor Lautner gets to play a Native American just because he's tan.

In other news, farming.  We live in a really great area for cotton.   Now, our Novembers may be climatically spastic, but they are dependably warmer than, say, Kentucky's Novembers.  The Tennessee Valley is basically as far north as you can go before hitting areas where cotton simply can't thrive because it needs a long growing season.  Something interesting I picked up from row crop farm micromanager Mr. William Lee was how no matter what career field (pun) you choose, education will only enhance your experience.  He said, "I wouldn't enjoy what I do had I not gotten an education."   

I went to a high school where farmer kids abounded, and from among the highly intelligent and ambitious farmer kids, my eyes were opened to the stores of knowledge, strategy, and risk involved in farming.  Entrepreneurship often comes hand-in-hand with farming.  Mr. Lee told us that there are many approaches a person can take to pursuing agriculture.  He said if he hadn't chosen to be a hands-on farm manager, he would have chosen to be a researcher, because there is indeed much to be learned to  better the process.  Some other farm managers he sees are never wearing anything less than suits and ties, hiring men to do the work on the land they happened to own, but Mr. Lee prefers not to ask a man to do work he wouldn't do himself. 

Getting dirty isn't chump's work.  It's not like corn and cotton farming is some kind of primitive activity where your hands bleed and you go blind from all the cans of pesticide you personally spray all the day long.  There were days, he said, when much of the work was basically like working 3,000 acres on a lawn mower and it was very tiring; but now there is GPS programming and autosteering.  He even made his own innovative soil sampler vehicle which, from the picture he showed us, doesn't even look hillbilly.  Farming is much more technologically involved than I thought.  These days farming is highly mechanized, and there isn't much manual labor going on, plus that big sprayer tractor thing looks FUN.  To add to that, farming kind of reminds me of the Bible.  I think it is a very beautiful, honest way of earning money.   Like most careers, it takes commitment, confidence, and know-how.  If you want to succeed, you had better know what you're talking about, and you had better be willing to take some risks. 

While farming is unique in its culmination taking place only once a year, everything depending on that one crop to last you till the next year, "city business" involves risks of its own.  UNA Trustee Stephen Pierce is the kind of guy who is not afraid to have a vision and make unpopular decisions.  And that, friends, is the sign of a quality leader.  He helped make the decision to bring our live lion mascots, today Leo III and Una, onto campus.  Apparently people despised that idea at first (WHY?!), but guess what?  He did it anyway, and not only has UNA not lost one penny from this huge installment, but the school's morale, quality and desirability had increased sevenfold. (I just made up that statistic.)  Admittedly, I don't think I have visited the exhibit once since I've lived here, but so what?  What do you think helped lure me to this place to begin with?  The endless mountainous staircases and cute dorm fridges?  Well, actually, I was inordinately pumped about the micro-fridge, but still, it's attractive to think there will one day be 500-pound cats lounging around under a waterfall across from your English building. 

The list of changes he has made around here goes on and on - walkways, hotels - the school's coming change to Division I.  He just wants us to be even prouder of our UNA after we graduated than when we actually attended it.  That takes either a committed leader or an adrenaline junkie.    

Now on to stuff I care about.  Mr. Pierce told us that college is a unique time in our lives, in that it "insulates" us from areas in the career world that are struggling.  He also pointed out how pivotal these years of our lives are, and I'm going to be honest, when I think about it, it makes my stomach feel all weird.  Listen to this nine-year period of his life that he revealed to us starting the day he graduated from high school: He met the woman he would marry, graduated from college, married her, started his life work, and had a son and daughter.  Now, I am going to be nineteen years old in two weeks, and chances are, you are either in my boat or rowing a few oar-lengths away.  Think about where you were when you were ten years old, and how much your life has changed in the nine years since then.  When I do that, everything I know about life is just chucked into the depths. 

Life does not last forever.  Things change fast, and I'm not just talking about puberty.  You meet people who somehow become part of your heart, come across opportunities that mold your coming years into something you thought you'd never even touch, and learn things that pull you over walls and into new places, some from which you may never look back.  Chances are, everything is going to change in just nine years' time. 

So what can we do?  From time to time over the past few months, I will be sitting with a group of girls and we will get to talking about our majors and whether we will change them, or if we'll ever really decide what we want to do...  If we talk about it long enough our eyes will start getting wider and our hair will get a little frizzier as we let the pressure and panic escalate into "I guess we'd better hurry up and get married before it's too late!" mode.  This really happens.  I have truly never thought about this stuff before now and it was scary at first, but now it's mostly just exciting.  It's like a challenge that you have to rise to and yet can't really fail.  I know a girl who stopped school for a year just to work and make money, and she's so glad she did it.  My English Composition professor didn't start having children until she was thirty, and she is such a proud, devoted mother and one of the the best, most ambitious teachers I have ever had.  There are no rules to break or time limits to meet.  If I want to quit school for a year and take off to France or Africa, I can.  If you want to wait until you're twenty-eight to even think about getting married, you will totally not be thrown in prison. 

Here's to breaking rules that were never made.         

"I'll sing alone the whole day through...  Just do your best to hear me, it's all you can do." - Copeland  

Jours Improductifs

The man who spoke to us Tuesday stood before us and donned a white lab coat that read "The Wizard of TUNA." I don't know what that means, but I do know that he tricked us into thinking he froze his finger in a bin of nitrogen and then struck it with a mallet, sending shards of blackened appendage flying.  Don't worry, it turned out to really just be a hot dog.  He was a cool old dude who not only knew what he was talking about, but managed to make it relatively interesting.   

Human values is somewhat the theme of our class, and Mr. Tuna said he initially had some trouble relating his field in chemistry to our forum.  It turns out, however, that values intersect science in three primary ways.  Also, from the first point I learned a new word, which is always exhilarating:

• Epistemic values guide science itself.  Interestingly enough, epistemology is a branch of philosophy.  It deals with the origin, nature, methods, and limits of knowledge itself - "how we know what we know."  

For example, one law called Occam's Razor says that if more than one explanation can equally well satisfy a set of observations, scientists adopt the simplest explanation.  That was surprising, because I thought science was always unbiased and calculating.  I mean, is the easiest explanation always more right than the others?  Nope.  And yet it's a part of science to choose just one easy explanation and leave out the rest.  See what values do?  They weed things out due to pure preference.  Then Tuna goes off on this long list of things that scientists like - reliability, universalism, statistics, an observation's ability to generate new ideas... It was a very, very long list, and all the points support the premise of SCIENCE, but some of them make the field seem a little less cold and more subject to humanity. 

• Even TUNA went on to say that values enter science through cultural values of individuals.  These impact what studies are pursued and how much they are funded. 

What kind of people do you think put so much work into making guidelines for ethical treatment of lab animals?  Certainly not the people who don't care about the animals.  Now, the outcomes of values studies don't always paint a pretty picture, and sometimes the approach a practicioner takes to come to his conclusion isn't as a complete blind man.  He takes the approach that he believes will hand him the most conclusive evidence.  For example, the Tuskegee syphillis study targeted black men in a rural area.  That's just the way the bread bakes.

• Values can play reverse, emerge from science itself, and be redistributed into culture or society. 

Some of our beliefs wouldn't have been brought to question if it weren't for science.  The 2010 Nobel Prize in Physiology went to Robert Geoffrey Edwards, who came up with in-vitro fertilization.  Some people thought the resulting test tube babies wouldn't have souls or something to that effect, but I'm pretty sure Edward's first IVF result back in the 70s, Louise Joy Brown, probably had a soul.  It's not like her parents' egg and sperm were made in a plastics factory.  But that brings up the whole cloning issue, which I believe is today a much more controversial issue.  Actually, that is very, very interesting.  The next time I'm forced to write a paper, I'll do it on human cloning.   

Anyway!  It's reasonable to say that some of the things scientists come up with will stir up some drama in the values department later on, and that is fairly awesome.  It's exciting to hear about something new that I can disagree with, even if it is sometimes angering/confusing/alarming.

• I just watched that youtube video TUNA wanted to show us, "The Comeback: Coal Will Power America's Economic Recovery," and it is one of the most legendary commercials I have ever seen. 

Last night, some of us went to the last part of the poetry slam in the GUC.  Now, I'm pretty open-minded for a Christian (definitely politically incorrect to say), but here is my question: Where do you draw the line between accepting the fact that not everyone lives like you, and being offended at someone who publicly traipses around in timeless sin?  Is it close-minded to be affronted by something?  I'm inherently upset when I notice my own sin, and I'm upset by others' too, I guess. 

If you're wondering, the poet we heard was very, very homosexual.  It's not like he said anything I hadn't heard before; I was just disgusted by it.  I would parallel the "poetry" to insight into the exploits of a kidnapper or thief, but I can honestly say those scenarios would have been much more fascinating.  This guy was just going after shock value.                  
 
Today I wrote a compare-contrast essay in English Comp class about trick-or-treating as a child versus trick-or-treating as a college student.  The end result is always free candy. 

"Along the way, we learn things too hard... Whisper out the way to stop my heart." - Drist   
 

My Chemical Romance - The Ghost Of You [Official Music Video]

Feng-Shui Conspiracy

Underwent a late-night four shot espresso injection; therefore, blog.  Turns out caffeine is the annihilator of study time; therefore, historic fail tomorrow.  I don't wanna be awake forever, so I'll make this quick.  But first! Music video.  

Well, I can't figure out how to embed it right.  Anyway, it was "Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance. I'll let you know if ever there is a better music video created.  Also, "I Don't Love You" by them.

I didn't mention this before, but under heavy coercion I gave blood  last week, and I did it like quite the pro.  Also I went to my first haunted house Saturday night, followed by Paranormal Activities 3, both of which were lovely.   

I just dropped my pencil in the lobby and couldn't find it.  I did, however, come upon two quarters under the couch cushions while looking for it, so I'd say it was worth the loss.

I really liked Dr. Donna Jacobs' outfit.  Did you know that a teacher with a bachelor's degree generally receives the same pay as a teacher with no degree?  Of course, it'd probably be easier to get a job with a degree.  

She talked about how appearances can make or break your career. I know this is especially true in teaching younguns, but I think it can apply to everyone. She said, "If you think it doesn't look quite right, don't do it." Don't touch it, don't think it. That's really just a good life guideline. It actually helped me make a decision today.

I liked that she brought up the fact that you might have to leave home to get experience in your job.  That's just how it is.  If you wanna get hired as a teacher and actually make money, guess what?  You probably don't need to chill out in North Alabama after you graduate from  this fine institution.  You should probably move to Alaska.  I am a fan of that concept.  If I want to be a good writer who actually has something to talk about, I don't need to hole up in my living room.  I am resolved to study in France at one point in my college career, and mission work in Africa is a yes. 

She also talked about integrity in your work, starting with pre-job surface stuff, like Facebook and hygiene.  That got me thinking about my blog and how irreverent I sometimes am.  But I think if I wanna be a writer, I need to have an individual style.  I think frankly; why shouldn't I write frankly?  I  would also like to think, though, that I have a good capacity for respect for others.  Even if I'm not incredibly in-tune to what's going on around me, I can crank out some good, common coexistence.  Considering where I would like to go with my career, I think my blog is fairly on base, even if it likes to steal between pitches. 
  
That's not to say I don't doubt myself sometimes, that my college direction is set in stone.  Last weekend when I went home, my mom mentioned in passing that I would make a good student counsellor, which of course pitched me into an OMG WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE moment.  It's weird, being so early in the "choosing your future" game. I see it swirling all around me in other students, and just when I think I have some certainty as to what I want, I get confused.  The Plan, thus far: Major = Professional Writing.  Minor = French. 

It makes sense, I promise.  I have some crazy life aspirations.  But what if I need something a little more stable to fall back on during the lulls?  I can totally see myself telling people what their problems are or planning their schedules or whatever it is counsellors do.  According to Dr. Donna, "Just because you need counselling doesn't mean you should be a counsellor."  So I guess from here, all I have to do is avoid becoming insane. 

I really, really, like the fact that she is doing what she has wanted to do since the seventh grade, has obviously excelled at it, and has personally rejected Oprah.  Life should not be a prison, you know?  Why follow money, when there are so many opportunities to make your desires work?  "You get to decide what you do and how you do it" - if you stop trapping yourself and making up restrictions. 

Sleepy time.

"Cuiziner, c'est toi que je veux voir, que je veux voir ce soir, te faire ridiculiser par une fille qui rappe mieux que toi!" - Yelle

:K 





     

It's Not Me, It's You

The last forum did not interest me whatsoever.  Initially I blamed this on the topic, but then I remembered Coach Arnsparger making business stuff extremely interesting in my senior Gov. & Ec. class.  The guy who talked to us Tuesday just did not how to relate whatever he was trying to get across to us.  Like, what in the world is a HUBZone?  I would look it up, but I don't even care.  Apparently you have a greater chance of getting government funded if you're wanting to start a business and you happen to be a HUBZonian.  Also women, veterans, and disadvantaged entrepreneurs get help.  AWESOME. 

I think I'm going to look up HUBZones now. Wikipedia: "HUBZone means a historically underutilized business zone."  Indian reservations, redneck hollers, etc.

The guy who spoke wore a tie that was red with stripes.  While he talked, I drew his tie.  That forum made me realize that I really miss drawing.  I think the last time I sat down and deliberately drew something for real was last Christmas break, which was ten months ago.  Why?  I've been thinking about that off and on for years, how something important to me as drawing can get pushed aside by these other things that used to just be its equals. 

I remember when I was eight or nine years old, I found out that my dad used to be really good at drawing, liked doing it, but didn't do it anymore.  As a sketchbook-keeping child, I had to ask him why he had just stopped.  I don't remember anything about his answer except that it made me sad.  When I remember that moment, it kind of bothers me all over again, especially since I'm doing the same thing now myself. If you let them, your passions seem to choose you.                          

Today I was walking across campus carrying a to-go box of food from Towers before leaving for my high school's homecoming game when I realized something obvious: Love - be it for the people in your life or the things you do - takes up your time.  See, I do love drawing.  To take what I see in my head and try to make it reflect itself onto paper - it's like the ultimate challenge.  It also takes hours, if not days, to achieve.  It makes your hands dirty and your fingers tired.  The more you get into it, the more solid money it leeches. 
Then in the end, your image doesn't always turn out how you want, especially if you've been neglecting the hobby forever as I tend to do before picking it back up.  It's one of those hobbies you either have to get hit with a random urge for or make yourself sit down and do.  I guess this is why drawing's attention has been relocated to more effortless passions of mine, because you can't spend ALL your time on EVERY thing you love.  I don't know if time is really money, but love is definitely time.      

It seems like I'm making a lot of choices about passions lately.  Do I really have the time? I don't know what to tie myself to these days and what to let go.      

I don't think I could give up on drawing altogether just yet, anymore than I could running or writing.  They're kind of like nicotine addictions.  Old habits don't just die hard; you have to kill them.


"You'll follow me back with the sun in your eyes and on your own - bed shaped and legs of stone.  You'll knock on my door and up we'll go, in white lights... I don't think so...  But what do I know?  What do I know?" - Keane

:K

Broad Shoulders, Narrow Mind

I believe in values.  Values are subjective, right?  But then, aren't values what people as individuals perceive to be right versus wrong?  What if one of my values is that there is not really such a thing as subjective right and wrong?  So in my mind, that makes everyone else's values wrong if they're not, well, my values.  Having said that, I don't claim to always know which option is right or wrong.  Just because I believe that there is one, and only one, answer doesn't mean I know what that answer is. 

Just thought I'd clear that up before I launch into this thing.      

Dr. Santanu Borah was sensational from the get-go.  He was discussion-inciting, attention-paying-inducing, and kind of hilarious.  Maybe that last part was because he's Indian, but really he is a very engaging speaker and I was sorry when the fifty minutes were up. 

His subject was "Human Values in Globalization and the New Global Order," which meant nothing to me either when I read that; but, as it turns out, it basically relates to everyone who has an opinion.  Now, it's hard to have opinions on things you don't know very much about, but don't worry, I manage.  Actually, from where I was sitting, it looked like each member of the Freshman chapter of this honorable organization has her own opinion; and under the group debates could be heard muttered rebuttals.  What I'm trying to say is, some people got a little PO'd.  This is understandable, especially when you see that Doctor Borah defines "values" as:

• Tied to emotion (and therefore neither objective nor permanent)
• Goals you are passionate enough about to strive for
• Transcending actions and situations; abstract (You can't earn enough money to buy what you hope to achieve from living by your values.)

I thought one of the first global values he brought up was especially fun - military spending.  Apparently, the U.S. is spending nearly half its jack on the military, which is more than anyone else on earth.  Immediately, I thought, "Well, good!"  This way maybe airplanes won't be kissing any important American towers at dangerous speeds at the hands of kamikaze terrorists tomorrow.  Also, I like the thought of our country as being one to be reckoned with and such.  Then BOOM! Borah busts out our little debt issue.  Suddenly my last thought was sent scurrying to the corner because if we owe half the world our money, how invulnerable are we really?  Before I can even mull over this, he asks us the infuriating question that simplifies everything:  "Good or bad?  Should this continue or not?"  In the end, I had to go with "no."

Then came GUN-CARRYING RIGHTS.  "Yes, no? What do you believe?"  See, I don't know, Gucci Mane.  Gun control does sound good - the fewer guns, the less shooting.  Well, ideally that would be true; nevertheless, gangsters are going to keep packing illegal gats, because what are they going to do with them but break the law anyway?  And all the law-abiding citizens who don't want to make the effort to get gun licenses are just going to keep getting shot, because what are they going to do, retaliate with some Nunchakus?  What I'm saying is true.  The more guns people have, the less violent crimes occur.  The hard-hitting question this time was not what did we believe; conversely, the mood shifted when Doctor Borah asked, "Would you be okay, then, with everyone on your campus having access to guns?" 

Oooooh... 

Not really, no I would not.  This isn't freakin' the Limestone County rodeo; this is school and furthermore my home.  But if I really believe what I say I do - that everyone having guns will keep them all in their holsters - then what's the problem?  *sigh*  There isn't one.  So, less gun control is a yes. 

Then we were introduced to the fact that we spend a lot more money on prisons than on schools.  "Bars over books," essentially, and guess what?  Shanghai is KILLING us in education, alongside several other places that are arguably a lot less opportunistic than the U.S.  I'm picking up on a trend in these forums, and the trend is that our nation is becoming really, really thick in the head.

After class I went to the Well, and last night as always I left so glad that I hadn't skipped it.  Though he never said he was, the leader, Alan, seemed really tired.  It must be exhausting to be the parent of a newborn.  

The subject was Noah and the ark.  Did you know that he worked on that thing for 80-100 years?  I can't imagine working on one thing for eighty years for the sake of anyone or anything - except my God.  I learned years ago that He can make your worst nightmare turn into your greatest dream in a single moment. 

Anyway, Noah. I've been hearing about that man and his boat since probably December 2nd, 1992, and yet last night I heard something about Noah's ark that gave me a chill.  Apparently, the ratio of the build of the boat - height by width by length - was the exact ratio that modern man has discovered to be the perfect ratio to keep a boat afloat.  It's not like Noah came up with those perfect numbers himself in that age when people had no experience with boats.  God Himself utters the exact blueprint right there in Genesis 6.  It takes man thousands of years to figure out what God already told us, and it sends a shiver up my spine every time I hear about it.       

Isn't it weird how non-physical circumstances can give you physical reactions? I've been wondering about that lately. Why can being incredibly sad make you lose your appetite or your chest hurt? Why does being scared or shocked at something make your eyes water?  The two aren't related at all.           




"No guilt in life, no fear in death: This is the power of Christ in me."  - Stuart Townend      
 
    
 

 

 

Of Sally and Vladimir

Dr. Wesley Giselle (uneducated guess at spelling) spoke in last Tuesday's Honor's Forum...   I always respect speakers who make an effort to get a group's attention, but I can't say whether the way Mr. Doctor started off his presentation directed my attention onto what he had to say so much as scarred me for the rest of my natural life.  I don't know what possessed him to start off his powerpoint with a huge picture of a horrendously inflamed and morbidly distorted scrotum, but buddy, he sure did it.  And after he clicked away onto his next point, I couldn't get the image out of my head.  It was like I had stared at a light too long, except instead of blotches of light, I was seeing ... EGH.

After that unfortunate side effect calmed down, I actually got to listening and found that he had an interesting story to his life.  Now, I messed up my legs, so I haven't actually gone running since November, but running for fun is definitely something I can relate to.  As it happens, Mr. Doctor was a big fan of running too at one time.  When he was young - I'm going to say fourteen or fifteen - he got into a serious car accident and was basically told that his leg was ruined.  This would be devastating to anyone, let alone someone who lives to run.  But then something happened to completely alter his course in life.  A doctor (now a close friend and personal mentor) came along, took a muscle from Wesley Giselle's back, and placed it in his leg.  Not only did this ingenious move give Wesley a new chance to eventually lace up his overpriced Nikes once again, but it became the reason that Mr. Giselle is a general surgeon today. 

I really liked Mr. Doctor's stance on mentorship.  He explained that a mentorship is a chain - your mentor has probably been mentored by someone else.  I've never thought about that before, but I guess it's common sense.  It kind of makes me wish I had a mentor, but I don't really know what I'd need one for.  Still, I really admire disciple-like relationships, and it sounds like Mr. Doctor really has that with the surgeon who changed his life so many years ago.  He said he loves that guy, and that a mentorship is "probably the most important relationship you'll ever have."  Now, that might explain why he's on to his second wife now, but in the broader scheme of things, and with the commitment someone in his profession must have to his career (say 80 hours a week), I'd say he's not far from right. 

He identifies himself with his career, which is a new concept for me, especially since he said that is how his family sees him, too.  I'm not saying that his is a skewed perception of identity, but it is something that took me a minute to wrap my head around.  When I look at my dad, I don't think, "Oh, there's that electrical engineer," and I hope that in eight years when I'm mulling over my identity, I can come up with something besides [insert vague, uncertain future job here].  That sounds dissatisfying to me.  But in the words of whoever told Mr. Doctor this: "There are few possessions in life: one of them is a rewarding career."  I enjoy that statement.

Not only was Mr. Doctor soft-spoken, but he was also short-winded.  I sort of wished his lecture would have lasted a little longer, because he was throwing in some gems.  The ensuing discussion after his talk sort of unravelled into personal questions, and finally ended with his planting yet another disturbing image in our minds before sending us packing.  I just don't understand his method.
 
It turns out being exiled from campus for a week means the next week's fun is destined for Hades. I have barely stopped playing catch-up.

This weekend, however, was a great distraction from the homework I should have been doing. I went with the Alternate Fall Break group to Harvest. We were told that we were going to be staying in a "manse" which obviously I imagined to be a small mansion. Actually, it was an abandoned Presbyterian preacher's home, with paper-thin walls and no hot water. It was really awesome though. I just felt sorry for the people who were trying to sleep while we were up past midnight playing Kemps both nights. In Kentucky we called that game "Kent." Anyway.

Friday, we split into small groups, and my group went to this warehouse FULL of donations. It was our job to sort all the clothes/shoes/accessories, box them up, label the boxes, and get them out of the way. We took one look at that endless pile, thought a collective "that's not gonna happen," and then got to work. I'm not going to lie, it was a little depressing being stuck in a warehouse all day, doing repetitive tasks and inhaling dust from the 1980s for seven hours. Sometimes it felt like we were never going to see the light of day again. Seeing how much we had accomplished at the end of the day, though, made me realize that we had made a difference - not only in the lives of the few volunteers at that warehouse who would have to do all that work by themselves, but also in the lives of people all over our country who really need those things we boxed up. Later that night during group reflection, I saw that daunting industrial room full of donations as a picture of the destruction the storms had left behind. The empty room at the end of the day sort of looked like hope, like tragedy could eventually be put behind North Alabama.

My next day of work was less psychological and more physical. At first, the site I was placed in was boring. Some of the plans fell through and most of us just weren't really needed at the house we were building. We picked up the trash from construction, and I did get to do some electrical wiring in the new house they were building, but that lasted about thirty minutes and then it was back to being in the way. Finally, before our lunch break, I was brought over to the wood-splitting site where they could actually use help. I have never done so much heavy hauling in my life. I mostly womanned the splitting machines, and if you didn't already know, I'm going to tell you: those things are AWESOME! 35 tons of sheer danger cracking open logs at your command. It was hard work for hours. :)


"You can run away with me any time you want." - My Chemical Romance


:K

  

Back on Sewell Road

I drank a cup of coffee at 11 p.m.


I've been sick.  Fever, excessive sleeping, maniacal laughter and whatnot.  It started with a sinus  infection-type deal on Thursday during the afternoon, but then in the evening when I was ref'ing volleyball games at the rec center, I started really feeling not-good.  When I got back to my room that night, I started getting some extreme chills, like shaking, you know.  It didn't matter that I was wearing my dad's hockey jersey along with sweatpants, socks, slippers, fluffy polka-dot bath robe...  I was just insanely cold. 


Friday morning, I skipped math and walked down to our infirmary.  Usually, I wait until I'm too near-death to even try to convince my mom that I don't need to go to a doctor, but now I'm supposed to be responsible, and school seems like a pretty expensive thing to be sick during, so I went.  After looking me over, one of the ladies gave me some Tylenol and said she wanted to take some of my blood to test it for mono.  I shrugged and said "okay," and she left the room. 


Now, you can spin me around for hours in an office chair  and I won't get dizzy; you can feed me twelve hotdogs and send me on a roller coaster and I won't  even come close to ralphing; but I don't have the best track record when it comes to giving blood. 


In eleventh grade, some school club was hosting a blood drive, and I signed up for it because I was psyched about being old enough to do something that normally would have required parental consent.  I got on that bus, answered "no" to the 52,591,453,845,346,001 sexual encounter questions they asked me, and let them plug me in to the drinking straw-like needle contraption.  I thought I was doing well, but then the nurse started peering into my face, looking at me all weird and asking why I wasn't squeezing the ball harder.  No matter how much I tried to appear as okay as I felt, she continued saying I wasn't acting normal and had I not eaten enough food today?  It's very confusing to be spoken to like this when you're feeling all right.  I was just thinking, "Yes, I'm fine, go away, I'm squeezing the stupid thing."  I stared out the window, my eyelids getting heavy, my body getting cold, squeezing the ball as  as often as I could.  Then, suddenly everything turned super-hot and painful, and that moment felt like a really great moment to pass out.  But the nurses hurried and put some ice packs under my neck and on my chest, and gave me like five bottles of apple juice.  Most of my friends answered the sex questions, gave a pint, and left, all in around fifteen minutes.  After apologizing for being so high-maintenance, I left the Blood Mobile after a good two hours. 


My senior year, my friend Ethan somehow coerced me into giving blood again.  That experience wasn't so traumatic.  Of course, it still took over an hour to get the bag full, but there were no drooping eyelids or emergency ice packs involved.  I left feeling like a victor.   I didn't really notice any side effects until I got up at the beginning of my next class to ask my math teacher a question and noticed I couldn't make my face direct itself toward my notebook.  My head sort of just kept lolling backward.  This didn't bother me because I was sky-high, but I think my teacher was offended.  After a solid minute of studying the ceiling, I muttered, "Oh, I get it," and shuffled back to my desk.  It was my habit to make lots of comments during that class, but I guess my comments were a little off that day, because my teacher kept asking if I was following what she was doing.   All I said was, "Oh yeah," but a bunch of people started laughing.   I heard one guy say, "Whatever she's on, I want some."  A few minutes later, when I heard a girl across the room giggle and say "look at Katelyn," I realized I was swaying and grinning down at my pencil.   My little sister and I had to sit in my Jeep in the parking lot for about twenty minutes after school, because driving doesn't seem like a good thing to do when you find your head flopping in different directions.  It was really awesome though.


But Friday at the infirmary, I figured since they wouldn't be taking a big bag from me, it wouldn't affect me too much.  A different lady came in with some little tube things and asked me if I ever had any problems with giving blood.  I lied, and she proceeded to drain a small supply of life from my already weak body.  Two minutes later, I noticed she was looking at me funny; then she ran out of the room and came back with a wet rag and Capri Sun.  Story of my blood-giving life.  Anyway, they gave me five days' worth of antibiotics and told me to skip the rest of my classes for the day.  I spent homecoming weekend in my dorm, blowing my nose. 


Sunday night I didn't sleep well.  Not only had I found out that day that I am among the many who are terribly allergic to Pantene hair conditioner, but I also inexplicably kept waking up scratching my hands and feet.  So I was itching literally from my scalp to the soles of my feet - imagine the itchy.  Monday morning, I wasn't feeling sick anymore, but there were these weird, hurty red spots showing up on the palms of my hands, bottoms of my feet, and even on my face.  Figuring I must be allergic to the antibiotics, I went back to the infirmary after I was done with classes.


As it turns out, these spots were about to transform into a wildly contagious viral disease, usually found in younger children.  Apparently, in the next couple of days I am supposed to endure lots of pain in my mouth and throat, and I am not to go to classes for the rest of the week.  In fact, for the sake of my room mate and everyone else in my hall, the doctor-lady said it would be best if I just went home.  So I left the infirmary, went to the GUC, and bought a frozen white chocolate mocha and a cup of frosted blueberry muffin poppers from the Einstein Bros.  Both were great, if you're wondering.


I was a little shocked.  I mean, here I was feeling better except for these random spots, and now you're telling me that not only is my week going to suck, but I am also exiled from campus?  Of course I wasn't angry with the M.D. - she was very sweet - but I was in general disbelief.  I had never heard of this before; were they making this up?  When I left Lafayette that afternoon, our custodian came in saying she had orders to sanitize Hailey's and my room.  I wondered if I should be wearing a mask and gloves. 


Actually, I do have to wear gloves at all times, and socks!  I mastered Facebook chat today wearing bulky gardening gloves, which was interesting.  For all these precautions I'm taking so others don't catch it, my contagious and harmful spots don't seem to be harming ME yet.  Also, there's nothing wrong with my mouth.  It's cool, though.  I get to watch Smallville (somebody saaaaavvve me) and drink hot tea and use my own bathroom.  Also, my older sister bought me the Deathly Hallows to read, so that should keep me occupied if I get tired of staring at Tom Welling (not likely). 


I started being a dork for Harry Potter toward the end of my senior year when I finally started reading the books and watching the movies for the first time.  My reading-for-fun streak, however, ended when college started, so I never got to read the very last book.  I miss reading.  My senior year, I know I read at least 50 full books.  It was the busiest year of my life, so I'm not really sure how I did it - maybe because I worked in the school library.  I think reading is actually good for busy people, because it kind of slows them down and takes them outside their circumstances so life never gets overwhelming.  Or maybe that's just me because I'm a nerd.

"Don't hang up on me, 'cause I'm hung up on you." - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

:K

Harappa!

I accidentally followed myself on my own blog, and I can't figure out how to make it go away.  I don't even have time to do this blog right now.  Maybe if I make it long enough, no one will read it.  Also I think I'm getting a fever, and I have to referee three volleyball games tonight.       

I just met my language partner!! Monday I applied for this random volunteer-type program thing where you get to meet a foreign student around here, and you spend an hour a week with him/her.  The whole point is to get the person more into our culture and kind of force him/her to speak English for at least an hour a week.  The ESL (I don't  know what that stands for) people didn't interview me or anything, which is kind of weird, but it's a pretty straightforward concept.  All you really have to do is speak English.  Anyway, his name is Xiao Lei (Show-Lee), and he's from a place near Beijing, China - I can't remember where exactly, but he said the plane trip was 12 hours. 

Foreign students have a lot of work to do, because he has classes for several hours every single day, and a lot of it is just devoted to reading, writing, and listening to English.  He has a pretty thick accent, and I think we had some trouble understanding each other today, but that's all right.  I'm originally from Kentucky, but I've lived in Alabama a good while, so I hope he doesn't pick up my southern accent.  That would be pretty funny.  He's here getting his master's degree in Criminal Justice, which is really cool.  I know this is incredibly ignorant of me, but I never imagine cops and that kind of thing being in China, so I was vaguely confused for a split second when he told me that.  I really need to get out more.

Ow.  I just reached for my deodorant and realized my arm is kind of sore from that shot.  I think I picked up a nice sinus infection yesterday, and I just now got a flu vaccine at the Juicy. Is that bad to do?  I'll tell you what's not bad: Einstein Bro's.  I think it'd be cool if that place were called the Bagel Boy instead though.  Then we could go,"Hey guys, let's hit the Bagel Boy," instead of,  "Hey guys, let's go to the Einstein Brothers' Bagel Company, Incorporated." 

Oh! So Dr. Calhoun.  Yes.   He spoke in our freshman Honor's Forum Tuesday evening.  I thought he was quite rude at first.  In speech class, I have learned that you shouldn't start a speech with an interactive-type question because no one wants to interact with a speaker they've never heard from before.  Instead, you should keep any questions rhetorical until the audience is comfortable with you.  Still, lots of speakers don't abide by this, and a lot of times the audience will humor the speaker by answering him anyway because people don't want their speakers to feel like they're doing a bad job. 

The problem is, not only did Dr. Calhoun start the evening off with a nice and intimidating interactive question, but he used the following awkward pause to insult us.  It kind of went like this:  "So, you all went on a trip to Memphis three weeks ago.  The school spent a lot of money on it, so you better have learned something on that trip.  Tell me some things you learned."  After a short silence he made a comment that we were supposed to be smart and surely we had reaped something from that venture. 

I had been working up to say that I had been really impressed with all the crazy, different forms of art we came across that night on Beale Street.  We saw some awesome clothes, rocking music, a little boy who could sing blues, crazy gymnasts, and a possibly insane spraypainting man who wore a gas mask and busted out amazing pictures left and right.  But now I was somewhat offended and didn't really want to talk to him anymore.  

I used my usual tactic and tried to see his frankness as amusing, and very soon into the hour I warmed up to him.  He basically acted as an advocate of STEM - Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics.  I found him to be really persuasive, which is impressive since he was talking about stuff I hate. 

He continued his shaky beginning by informing us that "this is not grade thirteen," which I admit is something I need to be reminded of.  I mean, obviously college life is gloriously different from high school, but when it comes to the work, man, it's of a higher caliber too.  He wanted us to see that we should not expect our strengths and interests to stay exactly the same as they were in secondary school, because we probably were never able to explore our real boundaries the way we will be able to at UNA.  

So he told us that American STEM prowess (the amount of people who want to be scientists/mathemeticians) is in an alarming decline, while other countries are increasing in that area; and, "paradoxically," (I enjoyed that word) this is happening during the very century that STEM fields have totally improved our lives!  Dr. Calhoun said this is because we have a very poor K-12 curriculum in American education... AMEN.

I personally think kids are intimidated by math and science majors by the time it's time to go to college.  I know I am.  I was completely discouraged away from math by the time I graduated high school, including any classes having to do with math, which is most upper sciences.  The classes made me feel stupid; why would I want to pursue a career that made me feel like a complete 'tard?   So apparently tons of students shared that sentiment with me, and now America is stupider than some second-world countries.  Ooh, riveting.  I mean, I guess we won't be the lead makers of rocketships nowadays, which is unfortunate, but what did he want us to do, change our majors to something more boring? 

The more he talked, though, the more I realized that the reasoning behind the direction I'm taking in college is partly based on fear.  Even in high school, I purposely avoided sciences like Physics and Chemistry, opting for math-less Anatomy and arguably pointless Forensics.  Now in college, I have chosen to retake Pre-Cal because I really didn't learn crap in high school.  I learned from Dr. Calhoun that this problem may not be my fault or even the high school teachers' fault.  Maybe I actually could have been more confident in math or more excited about science if our school hadn't been broke and Mr. Pres and the Higher-Ups hadn't put a lockdown on education... Maybe I shouldn't shy away so much from things that could better my nation.  Maybe I should be an engineer!

Lol, jk. 

But there really was some kind of stirring inside, like maybe I have the capacity to jump into some of the things I'm afraid to even look at.  It is rewarding when I miraculously do understand what's going on in a class that my brain normally rejects, and that does make me want to work harder, if not obssessively, to get a problem right.  My issue is that I am one of those people that only likes to do things that I'm naturally great at.  If I have to work hard to succeed, then I can leave that little snippet of talent to the professionals.  That is so wimpy.  I should stop that.


"Help! I'm alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer.  Hard to be soft, tough to be tender." - Metric

:K            



 

            

The Lion King in 3D

I am tired beyond all reason, but I don't wanna go to bed because it's Friday night and I don't have to.  So this new refereeing job I got on campus is great and everything, but it's looking like I'm going to be getting like three hours a week.   That is not going to fly with me; I do have car insurance.  Also the ref jersey makes me look like a man in prison.  I really do like the job, though. 

I applied for the Alternate Break Board yesterday! Pretty excited about that.  I'm thinking about joining Circle K, but I don't know... I've never really been a clubby type person.  And it'll cost like 40 bucks to join if I get the T-shirt, and heck yes if I'm in a club, I'm getting the shirt.  They do pretty cool stuff, though.  The only problem is, they do cool stuff ALL the time.  And I can't give them ALL my time.  I'm thinking I'll join anyway, because the worst that could happen is I decide I don't wanna do it again next year.  I just think that if I'm going to go do mission work in Africa at some point, I had better learn to see my own home as a mission field first.  I guess that's kind of the direction I'm trying to take.

It has been so danged cold in my room today. Is it weird that I'm wearing my ex-boyfriend's hoodie?... Well, he probably doesn't need it.

Oh! Yesterday we got back our narratives for Honors English Comp, and I got the highest grade in the class, which was fantastic...allizing.  My essay was about my second-to-last night of work at Chick-fil-A last month, when my co-workers pie'd the mess out of me.  It really pumps me up to get good grades in that class since writing is my major and such.  I think I might try to get a job in the writing center next year.  I wasn't confident about that at all when my mom suggested it this summer.  I was like, "Heh yeah, that sounds great," and figured I'd never ever do that.  But now, maybe I'm more cut out for it than I thought.  Also, I might get on the paper next year.  I don't know how passionate I really am about reporting, exactly, but I am curious about/have opinons on stuff that isn't my business. 

I'm pretty sure I murdered my math test this murnin.  As in, got half of one problem correct and that's about it.  We'll see. 

Sometimes my friends drive me absolutely insane with their identity crises and bad boyfriend choices and stealing my food and flashing me (?), but gosh I'm so glad I have them. 

Well, it's 1 AM and that's about it. "I don't know your face no more... It's just a place I'm looking for." - Keane 

:K       



 





               

     

I Really Need Milk

So busy! Definitely for the best right now.   

Last week in freshman Honor's Forum, we were spoken to about our college degrees and how to set ourselves apart from the thousands of other people who are working for the very same degrees.  He didn't go in the direction I was expecting, thankfully.  He told us, "Your college experience should not be a collection of knowledge and skills; it should be a transformation."  The guest speaker shared with us excerpts from his own life to encourage us to take small concepts that we're passionate about and run with them.  It really surprised me to hear how such small things - his wife deciding to get a dog, his realizing that the Chinese had their own school on the Mississippi River -  radically changed his life.  And I could tell those things only changed him because he was willing to see each event as an opportunity.  He really lived his statement that "a class can't transform you; an experience can."

Something that I related to in his lecture was his adamance that we students should travel and join organizations that actually interest us.  He also prescribed a healthy dose of volunteerism during our college career.  In  this way, not only will we avoid being one-dimensional on paper, I think we will also become more fulfilled as people.  Like a true aspiring writer, I like to understand things that don't necessarily pertain to me, and I'm really excited to grow and learn and follow my passion during college. I have found that sometimes this means trying out new, if not random things, just for a broader scope on life.    

         

The First Two Weeks

Disclaimer: I'm not sure what exactly is expected from me concerning this blog thang.  That being said...

I'm loving college.  I didn't know what to look forward to about it, so I basically assumed nothing and quite frankly walked into my freshman year about as blindly as a person can.  My summer was very distracting, I guess you could say.  I was thinking about the time that would fill the next four years, sure, but not really about college itself.  As it turns out, I got a job on campus on a whim, Lafayette is the boss, the people here are awesome, and the food in Towers is usually worth the hike. It's amazing how natural it feels to be away from home.

The actual school part is impressing me, too.  The professors are unbelievably cool, it seems like I've learned more in my Pre-Cal class in the past two weeks than I did all during my senior year of high school, and I got only positive remarks back on that 50-minute diagnostic essay we were forced to do last week. The Honors classes I'm taking surround me with people that might challenge me to put forth a little effort, which is something I can use...  So the past couple weeks have been a nice surprise.